Dialgue

What YOU think are the biggest dangers of being online

 * Cyber bullying
 * Pedophiles, hackers, stalkers, undercover people pretending to be kids
 * there are many people online that could do anything to hurt your feeling to killing you to harassment.
 * Stalkers!
 * I think the biggest danger is predators
 * Revealing to much info
 * Older men and women who are stalking younger children because they are trying to a bad things to the children, and they are a big problem
 * Telling a stranger too much information
 * Pedophiles, excess amounts of information, sometimes it can be hard to tell who you're dealing with and in the end you don't always find out who you're dealing with, "friends" that you make,inappropriate links, viruses, and Chat Roulette
 * Personally, I think the greatest danger are old people stalking young people to eventually rape them. Maybe they might even kill them, you can never know. It is a growing fear these days as social networking sites increase in size. Did you know that FB currently is home to about 350 million people? Twitter, one of the newer sites, is home to maybe just as much, or even more!! I think the lesson learned is that you cannot speak to people to whom you do not know to a certain degree! lolzzzzz<33
 * Once you say whatever you say, it is out there for everyone to see
 * I think that the biggest dangers of being online is that whatever you put out online, someone can always see it. Even if you delete and you think it is offline, somehow it is always still online

 What you think ADULTS think are the biggest dangers for you being online

 * People who want to hurt you
 * I think adults worry that kids will say or do things that are inappropriate or mean online
 * Pedophiles, information you are posting, friends you don't know, inappropriate links, viruses
 * Spending too much time online
 * Bad people that are pretending to be children
 * THEIR accounts being hacked on to and me going on inappropriate websites, or sites with sexual references.
 * I think, they think we are going to put to much information online.
 * I think adults get scared about kids posting pictures on FaceBook or any other internet source because some dangerous person can see them even if you are not friends with them. Parents and Teachers are also afraid that a dangerous person can create huge trouble with a young person.
 * Not knowing what website their child is on
 * Stalkers!
 * They think that we are not as careful as we actually are and think that we might talk to someone that we don't know or say something we don't mean, or put too much information online but most of us don't really do that. I don't think that they trust us when they should

How YOU connect with your friends

 * AIM
 * Aim Mail
 * Aol Mail
 * Bebo
 * BlogTV
 * Calling
 * Email
 * Facebook
 * Gmail
 * iChat
 * IPM
 * Meebo
 * MSN messenger
 * Skype
 * Texting
 * Twiter
 * Yahoo Mail

What you want to ask the "EXPERTS"

 * Why has society let the internet become such a dangerous/insecure place?
 * How to stay safe?
 * Why are there so many pedophiles online these days???
 * Why do adults pretend to be kids, and how do they find you?
 * Why would people want to risk their life and friendships, just to be on a website like FaceBook or MySpace?
 * Why don't websites like FaceBook actually check if a member is really the age they say they are?
 * How can someone always see something if you post it online and then delete, see it?
 * Why do you have to be 13 for so many memberships on websites?
 * I would ask how come 13 is the age limit for most internet societies?
 * Why do you have to be 13 to sign up for most websites? Honestly, I don't think it makes sense at all.

May 2010
==People have voiced concerns about negative interaction that take place in social sites such as Facebook, MySpace, Formspring, Twitter, YouTube, etc. Do you think the main problem is the sites themselves (the way they are set up and function), or the way people use them? ==

AA: Lots of good answers, here. It looks like most of you think the main problem, when there is a problem, isn't the sites themselves but the way people use them. I agree, though I think that most of the behavior or activity on responsible sites like Facebook is good or neutral, not bad, and people actually have some control over how good or bad their experience is. We can talk about that next week. One of you said problems arise because of the insecurity of sites. I think that can be true in the case of sites that operate irresponsibly (for example sites for children that don't have moderators keeping the experience positive) or sites that don't have good privacy and abuse-reporting tools or aren't responsive to users' reports. Look out for sites like that. Ask around. Usually people hang out where their real-life friends hang out so they can watch each others' backs, so to speak. It's also important to use the Web mindfully (or alertly) and responsibly – don't just leave it to somebody else (like a Web site co. or other users) to make the experience good. Every participant has a role in making a community a good place to be.
 * I think that it is the way that people use them. People are in control of their actions. Some people may be naive and choose to do the wrong thing but over all, its their decision.
 * I think it is the way people use them, because there is nothing wrong with these websites. People cannot talk to others if they are not friends with them, but if you are friends with someone and you say something mean, that is an example of the wrong way to for people to use these websites.
 * I think it is the way people use Facebook, MySpace, Formspring, Twitter, YouTube, etc. People put way to much information about themselves on the internet and the sites do allow yourself to block your information from the public but some people don't care if some of their personal information is out on the internet.
 * The sites themselves if the site allows weird people to get on
 * I think that these social sites are very nice but many people on them may try to hunt down the kids or bother them. They could also stalk you.
 * No. I believe the real issue is with the people who are on the sites. Many people are using Facebook®, MySpace®, Formspring®, Twitter®, Youtube® etc, correctly!! But then, there are mean people on these things. these mean people need to be found and put to justice. some have even caused suicides who need to know what suicide feels like. But in any rate, the main problem in these sites is NOT in the way they are set up
 * I believe that it is the way people use these sites. People should be responsible when they are online. No one should say anything that may be controversial online.
 * No. The way people use them.
 * I think that it is the people who use the sites. They take a perfectly good website that kids use for talking to friends and family and make it a place of negativity and inappropriate things
 * It is a mix of both.The way people use them comes from the insecurity of the site in general. This could mean that the site is not monitored enough or that the sites are just not that well thought out. Also once these sites get really big sometimes the creators feel that it is not necessary to fix or edit them to make them better because they're so many people that use it and only a small percent of those people complain.
 * I think it is the way people use them. I know for a fact that all these sites have certain settings that you can change to block certain people and/or only allow people that you know to contact you. The people in the sites make the choice of whether to use this setting or not.
 * I think when signing up and using these websites you are automatically making yourself subject to negative interaction. I think the blame shouldn't be on the site but on the people who use them.

==One thing adults worry about is all the time kids spend on/in/with phones, social network sites, videogaming, etc. How much time do you spend with media and tech? What do you spend most of your time on, where tech is concerned (texting, gaming, FB, etc.)? Do you feel adults should be concerned? Why/Why not? ==

AA: I'm hearing that balance is good (as in a balance of screentime and other activities) and it depends on the individual, and that's my feeling too. I also see a full range of tech use, from not much to 6-7 hours a day. That's the individuality part; it's up to each family, based on that's family's values and policies, what the priorities are and how much time to give them, I think, don't you? Where digital media and tech use are concerned, it's not helpful to make generalizations, I've found. What are these dangers you guys talk about? Do you get that from your own experiences with technology, or from hearing adults talk about them? Let's talk about that – I'm especially interested in dangers you might be referring to when texting and using Xbox Live.
 * Yes, I do because as fun as tech is, there need to be limits because it is not healthy to only look at computer or TV screens for a long period of time. It can endanger people's health in some of the worst cases and just doing it too much. Like everything, it has a time and place and shouldn't be overused.
 * I text a lot. I do not text a lot during the weekdays its more on the weekends. I also spend a lot of time on the computer I would say about three hours a day on the computer, Checking my FaceBook, Formspring, looking at YouTube videos. and on Twitter. I think, It depends on the kid, if the parents should or shouldn't be concerned. If the kid is talking to people that you don't think he should talk to then the parents should be concerned. If the kid, is just talking to his friends and not saying mean words or talking to strangers then I do not think parents should be concerned.
 * On a daily basis I probably spend approximately 6-7 hours a day gaming. I think my adult parents shouldn't have to worry about this because I am a good learner.
 * Besides homework assignments, I don't spend any time on the internet. I am not a member of FaceBook, Myspace, Twiter etc. Adults should be concerned due to all of the tragic things that can happen on the internet. I text and email my friends and family.
 * Each day about 15 minutes on average for non-school work, but I like talking on the phone for long periods of times on weekends.
 * At the maximum, I spend 45 minutes. I usually am on FaceBook or texting my friends. I feel adults should not be concerned if you are texting one of your friends, but I think an adult can be concerned on FaceBook because things can go wrong with this website.
 * I don't think that adults should be concerned unless we are doing something wrong. I text all the time but I still get everything important done, such as doing homework.
 * I think adults aren't used to the fact that kids these days are constantly connected socially to their friends everywhere they are. I tend to not necessarily sit in front of the computer with AIM or FaceBook on but instead I have them running and occasionally check my notifications. I think that adults should be concerned if their kids don't take harsh comments or bullying well because this can very well happen, otherwise I think kids our age are responsible enough to take care of their own social lives.
 * 4 hrs. texting. I think they should because there are so many dangers, I'll admit, but they have to make sure that their children know what the dangers are.
 * I do not spend much of my time with electronics but I do use my phone very often.
 * i spend most of my time on my computer. I usually go on AIM and YouTuve when ever I go on my laptop. I think that adults should be concerned if their child 2-3 hours at a time on the computer. But going on for not as long, they should not worry. I also text a lot, but adults shouldn't worry about texting, its just a way to keep in touch with friends and family.
 * X-Box (CODmw2). Sometimes they should be concerned because you can be getting stalked or you can get addicted.

How would you define cyberbullying?
AA: Sounds like you've got a good handle on it. Researchers sometimes call it willful, repeated aggression online that often has something to do with real life, or school life. In other words, bullying or meanness online often has something to do with relationships or peer groups at school. Does that make sense to you? I think "digital murder" goes a bit too far, don't you? Yes, there have been a few highly publicized tragic suicides, but they are very, very uncommon, and only the people directly involved know how much cyberbullying actually had to do with those suicides. The recent case in Massachusetts was all about relationships at school and involved bullying and in-person cruelty as well as online cruelty. I believe cyberbullying is rarely an isolated incident that happens only online and has nothing to do with school. I think it's directly related to what I call "The Drama" of the school scene: the gossip, different individuals and social groups and how they communicate and relate with each other, and cyberbullying is when the usual drama goes mean or destructive. I'd like to know if that makes sense to you guys.
 * How would you define cyberbullying?
 * People tricking kids and putting inappropriate and dangerous things online.
 * When someone is bullying someone over the internet, or texting.
 * Being mean to someone on line. Doing things you wouldn't do to someones face on line.
 * I think cyberbullying is when people say mean comments to other people. I think people do cyberbullying, to be mean to people that they are scared to be mean to in real life.
 * Bad people online who want to make fun of other nice children. Or badly hurt their feelings.
 * I think cyberbullying is when someone on the internet is making fun of you or saying wrong things to you. This can be very hurtful to you.
 * Cyberbullying is the act of being mean to or threatening someone over the internet (through cyberspace)
 * Bullies on line the are mean to other kids and get other people to team up on that kid to make them feel bad or to get a laugh out of their pain to fiill their satisfaction.
 * Bullying online
 * Digital murder
 * Cyberbulllying is when someone harasses another person on the internet.

Have you seen much evidence of cyberbulling in your school or community?
AA: This is very cool to hear, that you're not seeing much of it at your school. I think that says something both about you and the school, that it's a pretty caring community. But you know what? Bullying and cyberbullying aren't as normal as news reports would have us believe. In fact, it's not common at all, the vast majority of students don't engage in bullying or cyberbullying, and the research shows that bullying has actually gone down.
 * No, not really
 * Not really.......
 * No, but I've heard of many severe cases of it including suicide
 * I don't know because I am not a member of the sites most of the kids are on
 * No
 * Yes
 * Kind of, but only when I am at friends houses and we are FaceBooking and see other pupils pages, and their gossip. But nothing too serious.
 * No but I've heard about many things outside of school.
 * I have seen on FaceBook and Formspring people saying mean things to others, which is very hurtful. This is something very wrong and can hurt someones feelings.
 * No, I try to stay out of bullying and I haven't seen anyone bullying or getting affected by bullying.
 * Not really. When we were younger (4th, 5th grade) our teachers made us go on a non bully/ cyberbullying sight. And that really helped us not cyber bully.
 * No, not in my school. I don't ever talk to anyone in my town because I do not go to school there so I don't know about my town.

Which of these behaviors have you either participated in or witnessed?
AA: Thanks, good to know. I'd like to talk with you guys about what, if anything, you felt you could do when you witnessed or experienced these kinds of behaviors.
 * gossiping 9
 * creating rumors 3
 * spreading rumors 3
 * creating "put down" groups 3
 * participating in "put down" groups 2
 * passing around embarrassing pictures or video of others 2
 * posting mean comments 4
 * had people gossip about you 7
 * had people start rumors about you 9
 * had people spread rumors about you 7
 * had a group created about you 1
 * had embarrassing pictures or video of you passed around 1
 * had mean comments posted to you, or about you 4

What do YOU think is the most effective way to stop bullying?
AA: Not sure where the concept of murder comes from. Where did you hear that was a factor? There actually hasn't been a single news report of a social networking-related murder in this country. Some of your answers cause me to ask whether you think that if people didn't use Facebook, they would not experience any meanness toward them? In other words, would banning Facebook or texting or whatever technology fix the problem? If someone started a cruel or harassing group about you, would deleting the group help? Blocking a bully online can help if ignoring him or her would help, right? This is a tough question – for everybody, adults and kids. What we're seeing that helps is a good school culture that promotes kindness, respect, and civility among staff and students and a good understanding that bullying is not normal – that it's a sad or hurting person's very wrong way of getting the attention or self-esteem he or she is missing in his or her life. So talking about the problem (sometimes counseling or therapy for both bullies and victims) can help.
 * Parent and school protection
 * To ban FaceBook, MySpace, etc. from kids until they are older. But don't monitor their accounts when they are old enough unless something serious looks like it's going on, because monitoring other accounts is invasion of private space.
 * To find them and arrest them for harassment by tracking them to their computer.
 * To avoid the social sites.
 * Send the bad people a complaint letter.
 * Since the beginning of time there has always been bullying and kids have always had to deal with it. I think there is no way to really stop bullying and if you are subject to being bullied and you don't like it then you should remove yourself from those situations. The more adults try to get involved the worse the situation will get.
 * To block the people who are bullying you.
 * Stand up to the bully
 * Have monitors on social networking sites so people are not murdered
 * I think not being friends with anyone on any websites can stop strangers from being mean to you.
 * Kids need to be monitored on the computer. Parents should be aware of what their children are doing.
 * To warn kids about it at a young age and to tell them it is wrong.
 * There really is no effective way to stop bullying completely, but I guess you could just talk to the people doing the bullying.

==About Formspring.me – Have any of you heard of it? Have any of you used it, or do you know people who have? What do you think of it? Why do you think people put themselves out there on it? ==

AA: Hard to ignore an answer in all caps! How on earth can people die from using Formspring? I'm interesting in the response that said Formspring's bad "because they're insecure." Who's insecure, the site or the people on it? If the people on it, I think that's probably most of the problem. Mean answers, ultimately, are less likely to hurt a secure person. I don't recommend that anyone ask people questions about themselves that could invite cruelty (why subject yourself to meanness?!), but it always helps to know that cruel behavior toward you is much more about the harasser than it is about you. Even when directed right at you, what a bully says is not really about you; it's about how much the bully is hurting inside. For those of you who use Formspring and aren't having any problems, that's great. No worries, then. Just don't put personally identifiable information (PII) about yourself in there – no full name, address, phone no., etc.
 * Don't know what it is
 * Yes. I have one. It is bad. Because they're insecure.
 * I think people want to know wat others think. PEOPLE CAN DIE FROM IT!!!!
 * I don't know what Formspring.me is
 * No
 * Because they are having fun and think their cool.
 * I have heard of this. People do know I have one. I think this website is fine to use, and nothing can go wrong with this website, unless a stranger makes fun of you, or says something wrong.
 * I think it's a great site it's really fun to use. Yes, there are mean people but aren't there mean people everywhere?
 * I know many people who have Formsprings, many of my friends have them. I'm not really sure why people have them because all people say to them is means things. But sometimes people have Formsprings to get in touch with people who do not have AIM or FaceBook.
 * I have a Formspring and so do many of my friends. I do not think there is anything wrong with it. Even if people say mean things, such as something about how you look, you shouldn't get upset but if they are threatening to physically harm you then there is a problem. I do not think that there is anything wrong with Formspring.
 * I have heard of it. I have a Formspring. I think it is harmless because you don't have to put any information about yourself and you can ask anonymous questions which is fine because if you don't want to answer, you can delete it. I think people just do it for when they are bored and have nothing else to do.
 * No.